As a leader, the weight of responsibility can feel relentless. The expectation—whether self-imposed or external—to be at your best 100% of the time is unrealistic and, quite frankly, unsustainable. But what if you gave yourself permission to exhale?
Pause for a moment. Feel the breath filling your lungs. Let it go.
You are doing the best you can right now.
Leading effectively isn’t about maintaining a state of perfection. It’s about managing the moment—being fully present with yourself and others in a way that fosters clarity, resilience, and connection. The most successful and well-rounded leaders aren’t those who push themselves beyond their limits at all times; they’re the ones who know how to regulate their energy, practice self-compassion, and lead with authenticity.
The Myth of 100% All the Time
The belief that you must always be “on” as a leader can create:
- Burnout: A recent study by Gallup found that 76% of employees experience burnout on the job at least sometimes, with 28% reporting that they feel burned out “very often” or “always.” Leaders are not immune to this—they often experience even higher levels due to their responsibilities.
- Imposter Syndrome: According to a study published in the Journal of General Internal Medicine, up to 82% of people experience imposter syndrome at some point in their careers, with high-achieving professionals and leaders being particularly susceptible.
- Decision Fatigue: Research from the National Academy of Sciences found that people make worse decisions as the day progresses due to cognitive overload, a phenomenon known as decision fatigue. For leaders, this means the more you push yourself without rest, the less effective your judgment becomes.
But here’s the truth: Leadership is not about being perfect—it’s about being present.
How to Manage the Moment with Presence
1. Pause and Breathe Intentionally
Your breath is a powerful tool. Studies show that deep breathing activates the parasympathetic nervous system, reducing stress and improving focus. One study published in Frontiers in Psychology found that just 2-5 minutes of deep breathing can significantly lower cortisol levels (the stress hormone).
Try this: Take a deep breath in for four counts, hold for four, and exhale for four. This simple practice grounds you in the present and signals to your nervous system that you are safe.
2. Acknowledge What You Can Control
You can’t control every outcome or anticipate every challenge. What you can control is how you show up in the moment. Research from Harvard Business Review highlights that leaders who focus on what’s within their control—rather than worrying about external factors—demonstrate higher resilience and emotional intelligence, leading to better decision-making and reduced stress.
3. Redefine Success in Real Time
Success isn’t always about achieving a grand result. Sometimes, it’s about getting through a tough meeting with grace, supporting a team member, or simply maintaining your own well-being.
Tip: A study from the University of California, Berkeley found that people who acknowledge small wins daily are 29% more motivated and engaged. Give yourself credit for the wins—big and small.
4. Practice Self-Compassion
Would you expect your team to be perfect at all times? Likely not. So why hold yourself to that impossible standard?
Self-compassion isn’t just a feel-good concept—it has real benefits. According to Dr. Kristin Neff, a leading researcher on self-compassion, individuals who practice self-compassion experience 25% less anxiety and 34% lower stress levels than those who are overly self-critical.
5. Normalize Rest and Recovery
A well-rested leader makes better decisions, communicates more effectively, and leads with greater empathy. Yet, many leaders operate under the impression that working longer hours equates to greater productivity.
Research from Stanford University found that productivity sharply declines after 50 hours of work per week, and those who work 70 hours get no additional output compared to those who work 55. Rest isn’t a luxury—it’s a leadership necessity. When you take time to recharge, you model a sustainable way of working for your team.
Coaching Questions for Reflection
As you consider how to show up for yourself and others in a more present, compassionate way, reflect on these questions:
- What unrealistic expectations am I holding for myself as a leader, and how can I challenge them?
- How do I currently manage moments of stress, and what small shifts could help me be more present?
- What would change in my leadership if I gave myself permission to be “good enough” rather than striving for perfection?
Leadership isn’t about doing more, striving harder, or proving your worth. It’s about showing up—fully, authentically, and with presence. So, take a deep breath. You are doing the best you can right now. And that is enough.
Generative AI was used as a tool to co-create this article.
